Trust, Truth, Fear, and Freedom
by JackieStarSister
Summary: Korra knows she is adopted, and that fact does not bother her. But a strange dream leads her to make several unexpected discoveries about her adoptive father, her biological parents, and her own identity. How far should she go to discover the truth? And what should she do with that knowledge? Cover image "Here" by emorephic on DeviantArt.
1. Introduction

_Preface_

O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!

Did ever dragon keep so fair a cave?

Beautiful tyrant! Fiend angelical!

Dove-feathered raven, wolvish-ravening lamb!

Despisèd substance of divinest show,

Just opposite to what thou justly seem'st.

A damnèd saint, an honorable villain!

O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell

When thou didst bower the spirit of a fiend

In moral paradise of such sweet flesh?

Was ever book containing such vile matter

So fairly bound? Oh, that deceit should dwell

In such a gorgeous palace!

~ William Shakespeare, _Romeo and Juliet_, Act III, scene ii, lines 74-86

* * *

><p>This is my first long <em>Legend of Korra<em> story (my others are limited to poems, oneshots, and novellas), and the first to deviate from the canon. This story came to be in the same manner as "Finding What You Weren't Looking For": I read a fan fiction that inspired me to start writing my own story based on the main idea. I wrote a fanfic of a fanfic. In this case, the story was "dream of the lotus in bloom" by pulpofiction, and I was actually imagining what I hoped would happen in subsequent chapters. In both cases I ended up creating enough original material to start my own version of the trope. pulpofiction wrote in the present tense, so when I started this I did the same, and I've tried to keep it consistent throughout.

As a disclaimer, I acknowledge that I will be writing about complicated relationships regarding which I have no experience and limited knowledge. I am not a parent, I am not adopted, and I have no background in psychology. I am entering territory I've never explored before, so please forgive me if I write something that seems unrealistic for someone in that kind of situation. If you are a parent, adopted, or well versed in psychology, feel free to tell me in a review, and I may turn to you for advice. And to all my readers, if you think a main character is acting out-of-character, it is probably because their pasts and relationships have made them different from how they are in the show.

Also, if you're looking for a romance (since I have written about that in my other works), this piece may disappoint you. There are some dating situations and strong feelings of affection, but they don't amount to much because they aren't the central focus of the story. Frankly, the characters will have more important things to deal with than romance and courtship.

Please leave reviews if you think it's good, or if you think it could be improved. Enjoy!


	2. Leaves from the Vine

_Published January 1, 2015. Updated January 17, 2015._

**Author's Note:** I decided to expand this chapter, because the first one seemed incomplete, and the later material seemed to fit more with this one than the next one I'm planning to post. So even if you read the first part of this chapter, read the second part to take in the new scenes. Also: I have a poll on my profile about how I should organize my ATLA epic "Finding What You Weren't Looking For." If you have read that please let me know your opinion by voting!

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><p>"Leaves from the Vine"<p>

_When we talk about mortality we are talking about our children._

I just said that, but what does it mean?

All right, of course I can track it, of course you can track it, another way of acknowledging that our children are hostages to fortune, but when we talk about our children what are we saying? Are we saying what it meant to us to have them? What it meant to us not to have them? What it meant to let them go? Are we talking about the enigma of pledging ourselves to protect the unprotectable? About the whole puzzle of being a parent?

~ Joan Didion, _Blue Nights_

* * *

><p>In the Water Tribes, no one with a reasonable sense of self-preservation goes outside during a blizzard. Even a waterbender can get lost in the distances between houses. So Tonraq and Senna have good reason to be startled when they hear someone bang on their door.<p>

Thinking it might be someone who needs help, the two of them leave Korra in the bedroom and go together to the front door. Senna opens the door while Tonraq holds the lantern in the threshold, and they can make out the white and indigo pattern of his robes.

"The White Lotus!" Senna's gasp is more excited than surprised.

"Are you Tonraq and Senna?" the man asks loudly over the wind's bellowing.

"Yes—come in, quickly." Tonraq answers. They step back and let the man enter their igloo. Senna closes the door securely against the cold wind.

"You chose an awful night to arrive," he says, turning back to the Lotus.

"It's been a long journey. After coming this far, I didn't want to delay any longer."

"Is there no one else coming?"

"I was the only one they could spare. They've received many claims, in both of the Water Tribes. So far none have been fruitful."

Tonraq and Senna exchange glances that turn into smiles. "Then you should be happy to know your search is about to come to an end," Senna says.

"You seem quite confident," the Lotus says. "Why is that?"

"Mom? Who is it?" Korra enters from the bedroom. The Lotus stares at the slightly chubby four-year-old.

"What did you say your name was?" Tonraq asks him.

He straightens up and says, "I didn't. It's Lee."

"Korra, this is Lee. He's part of the White Lotus. You remember what we told you about them?"

Her eyes light up—they are pale blue, like the sky on a cloudless day. But instead of smiling, she strikes a pose that somewhat resembles a warrior's stance, legs apart, knees bent, clenched fist raised in the air. "I'm the Avatar! You gotta deal with it!" She leaps forward into the room, punching her fists, and small bursts of flame come out of them; then she stops her foot against the ground, and a low pedestal of earth rises; when she waves her hand, the melted snow dripping around the Lotus rises and floats in the air.

The man who calls himself Lee gapes at the child. "She can already do this much?" he says to the girl's parents.

"I can do a lot more!" Korra says, and starts to spin.

"That's not necessary," Lee says, causing her to stop with a pout. "What I mean is—more than her native element?"

"She's bent everything except for air," Senna says, "but I don't think there can be any doubt."

"Extraordinary. Most Avatars don't discover their range of abilities until after they've been told their identity. This is a highly unusual situation, even for the Avatar." Lee cups his chin in his hand, musing aloud. "This is going to complicate things … quite significantly."

"Why is that?" Tonraq asks, his brow furrowed at the man.

Lee is silent for a long moment, ostensibly collecting his thoughts, discerning how to explain. "If she can already tap into these physical abilities, it's possible she could tap into her spiritual abilities as well—entering the spirit world, for instance, or activating the Avatar State. Do you know what that means?"

"We know what the spirit world and the Avatar State are," Tonraq answers evenly. "But I'm not sure I follow your meaning."

"Bending is a liability for any child. If not trained and taught to control their ability, benders can cause damage to themselves and those around them. For someone who can bend _four_ elements, it's even more imperative that he or she achieves mastery over them. Not to mention, if she were to enter the Avatar State at such a young age—"

"Is that likely?" For the first time, Senna looks alarmed.

"It is only a theory, based on how far ahead she already is."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Tonraq asks.

"The White Lotus always planned to train the Avatar, as Avatar Aang asked them to do. But we will have to expedite that process." Lee gazes at the child, who is now sitting on the floor and bending chunks of earth. Then he looks back at her parents. "For now, I think I ought to take her to meet the rest of the White Lotus."

"Take her? Take her where?" Senna demands.

"To an outpost—I can't tell you the location unless you agree that she may go. The old masters will convene and discuss what is to be done, but they will want proof of who she is. She'll have to bend for them as well.

"Let the White Lotus come here if they're so concerned," Tonraq says gruffly.

"We have members all over the world; they won't want to convene so far out. Surely you must understand, her training is the world's priority."

"That's unacceptable. She's our daughter. You can't confiscate her like a national treasure."

The Lotus smiles ever so slightly. "If anything she is an international treasure."

"You want to joke—about—" The dizziness comes suddenly, very hard, like the aftereffects of a blow to the head, but without the shocking impact of the blow itself. Both Senna and Tonraq fall to their knees, clutching their heads between their hands. It takes ten seconds for both of them to black out; but they hear most of what the man says.

"You must understand. Your child is going to do great things for the world. But she cannot do them here. You cannot help her realize her potential. But I can."

* * *

><p>Tonraq wakes first, and the first thing he sees is his wife lying next to him, facedown on the floor of their igloo. "Senna!" He pushes himself onto his hands and knees, and turns her over.<p>

She does not seem to be visibly injured. She grunts when he shakes her awake, then blinks her eyes open, focusing. "What hap—_where's Korra?_"

"Korra!" Tonraq calls out her name, getting to his feet and looking into the bedroom.

They search for her, trying to remember—was she still in the room when they argued with the stranger? Did she hear them talking about her future? Did she hide? What happened after they blacked out? How, and why, did they black out?

When they have combed every inch of the igloo—including hiding spots under the beds and piles of furs—Tonraq opens the door to look outside. Now he knows why the intruder chose a foul-weathered night to come. They can see the light of other buildings, but any tracks that were left are gone.

"KORRAAAA!" He yells at the top of his lungs, and hopes that the wind can blow the sound to her. He circles their igloo but finds neither the man nor his child.

When he steps back inside, Senna is sobbing. "She's gone."

"No." Tonraq's hand is hard on her shoulder, but his voice is even harder. "We'll find her. We'll see her again. Come on—the healers will know who to talk to."

They trek through the snow to the igloo where another Avatar's family lives. Tonraq bangs on the door. "Kya! Open up! Open—"

Avatar Aang's middle-aged daughter answers, recognizes them, and immediately senses something is wrong. "What is it?"

"Our daughter's gone—"

"Stolen—"

"It was a man—"

"Disguised as a member of the White Lotus—"

"Please, help us."

Kya lets them in and calls for her mother, Katara. They do their best to calm Senna and Tonraq down enough to tell the story clearly. They are baffled by the sudden unconsciousness they describe.

"Was he a bender?" Katara asks.

"He didn't say," Senna says gloomily.

Tonraq adds, "The fact that he got to our igloo in the storm made me think he might be a waterbender."

Katara makes a "Hm" sound, looking darkly pensive. "What are you thinking, Mom?" Kya asks.

"There's bloodbending." The other three gape at Katara who explains solemnly, "Years ago, in Republic City, there was an incident where a bloodbender knocked out a room full of people, including Aang, Sokka, and Toph Beifong. Perhaps your attacker was a waterbender."

Tonraq stares at her. "I've heard of bloodbending, but I thought it could only be done under a full moon."

"We once thought so too, until that incident proved us wrong. It takes a waterbender of nearly unheard-of power." But she shrugs and concludes, "It's just a theory."

"Well, however he did it," Kya says, moving on from the barely-believable possibility, "we need to organize a search. I'll go alert Sokka and the police." She turns back to Korra's parents. "If you have any pictures of Korra, they could help the search parties." And if they cannot locate her, they can reproduce her picture in the newspapers, so most people in the world will be able to recognize her if she is among them.

The four of them go back to the family's igloo. Katara makes more suggestions as they walk. "When Fire Lord Zuko needed to find someone specific, he hired a shirshu trainer."

"Right, because the South Pole is full of shirshus," Kya says, her sarcasm too annoyed to be humorous; Katara thinks she sounds like her uncle.

"There are still some in the Earth Kingdom. If you have any items with Korra's scent on it, they might be able to find her, whatever the distance between you."

"But hopefully we'll find her before they leave the Tribe," Kya assures the parents as they return to their igloo.

Before, Tonraq and Senna only looked around the place enough to search for Korra. But now they can see the place and their things, not just the empty space. Specifically, they see that most of Korra's possessions are gone―her toys, her coat, changes of clothes.

"He took everything of hers," Senna realizes, aghast.

"What about pictures?" Kya insists, grasping for any kind of lead.

Tonraq goes to the bookshelf and pulls out their single photograph album. Pictures are few and far between for their family, and they preserve pictures carefully in this book. The women gather around as Tonraq flips through the pages, revealing a portrait from his and Senna's wedding day. Next should be their first picture with Korra, taken just days after she was born. There should be subsequent photographs from special occasions, like the Glacier Spirits Festival, Korra's favorite holiday.

The pages that held the family portraits are now blank. Only the pictures of Senna and Tonraq remain.

"He took her—out of the picture," Senna chokes. Tonraq can barely comprehend her words, whether they make sense or not. He sees, though, that Korra has been erased. It is as if she was never there in the first place.

* * *

><p>Noatak has never blocked a child's chi; he is not even certain they have the same physical response. But for this plan to work, the Avatar must not be able to bend. From now on, he must take care to wake before she does, and cut off her ability as frequently as possible, without her knowing.<p>

So after he returns to his motorboat in the harbor, he sets the girl down and jabs her arms and legs at the right points. Her body twitches with each blow, but she does not stir. His bloodbending put her, as well as her parents, soundly to sleep. It had taken weeks of practicing on antarctic mammals to be able to induce unconsciousness so quickly and smoothly.

Tonight was the second time he ever bent the blood of a human being.

He felt no hesitance then, and he will not feel guilt now. He will do what he must. This is not the only way he could have gone about things, but it was the best way he could think of, and now that he has chosen this path and come this far, there is no turning back.

He stows her personal effects and his White Lotus robes in a small storage compartment—he'll destroy them later, he cannot leave them as evidence—and leaves her in a bundle of blankets set up like a nest on the floor. In the hours before dawn, he is able to drive the boat over a hundred miles from the Southern Water Tribe harbor. He knows the search parties will begin soon, and word will spread to the real White Lotus as well as the leaders of the world. The two of them will have to stay under the radar for the rest of their lives, but especially for these next several days and weeks. Getting a head start now is the first and most crucial step.

He keeps glancing backwards at her, though she remains sleeping. Perhaps he did too good a job knocking her out. But her vital signs were all normal, so he does not worry.

The sun is rising when Korra turns over. Noatak kills the engine and waits while she wakes up. It takes longer than he expects. Finally, though, she blinks her eyes open and realizes she is not home.

"Mama?" Her voice is high with alarm.

"It's alright," Noatak says, kneeling down next to her. "Remember me? I came to your house before you fell asleep."

She looks to him for an explanation. "Where are we? Where's Mama?"

Noatak chooses his words carefully. She will not forget about them for quite some time. She will not like this transition. But then again, no orphaned or disowned child does.

He uses small words and a gentle tone. "Your mama and daddy had to go somewhere. They asked me to take care of you."

The child's face scrunches up like she's prepared to cry, but first she asks, "When they come back?"

He waits a moment, looks directly into her blue eyes, and speaks slowly so she can understand. "They aren't coming back. They said I could be your new daddy. But don't be sad. If you're a good girl for me, I'll be a good dad for you, okay?"

"No! I want my mom and dad! I wanna go home!"

He reaches out, thinking to hug her and hold her until she is consoled, but Korra swats his hand away. She gets to her feet, glaring at him, and punches her arms forward, shouting, "Bring them back!" It takes her a few punches to realize that nothing is coming out of her fists. She stares at them, then flexes her fingers, shocked. "I can't bend." She turns her head wildly, then goes to the side of the boat—Noatak is quick to follow her—and moves her arms in an attempted waterbending move. "I can't bend!" she cries.

"I'm sorry, Korra. You must have been dreaming about bending."

"No, I did it! I could bend three elements! I'm the Avatar!"

He tries to look and sound sympathetic, even as he stays firm. "I don't think so."

Korra's lip quivers, and she starts to sob. "B-but they said I was the Avatar! They said I was special!"

What stupid, infatuated parents. People like them are the reason why benders grow up to be so selfish, arrogant, and self-righteous.

"Korra, bending doesn't make you any more or less special than anyone."

She doesn't believe him, so he lets her cry it out, waiting for her sobs to subside. But she only stops long enough to take a deep breath and start wailing with renewed strength.

"You don't need bending," Noatak insists, his patience waning.

"YES I DO!" she screams at him.

"Why do you _want_ to be a bender?"

She really looks at him then. "Bending's the coolest thing in the world! You can do anything with it! I've built castles with icebending and cooked with firebending and made toys out of earth. And you can fight with it!"

"Does it make you feel safe?"

"Sure. No one'd mess with the Avatar. If they did, I'd freeze 'em, or burn 'em, or bury—"

"That's _enough_!" His harsh tone actually shuts her up, if only for a moment. Before she can start crying again, he says, in a normal volume, "You don't need bending to feel safe. There are ways to defend yourself with out bending. And you don't need your old parents, either. I'm here for you. I'll be your dad."

"I don't want you! I want Dad and Mom!"

"You know … I don't have my parents either."

She folds her arms, unimpressed. "So? You're a grown-up."

"I mean I lost them when I was young." That gets her attention. Noatak continues, "I had a brother, too, but he's gone. I had to leave them because it wasn't a good home. And yours wasn't either, Korra. Your parents couldn't take care of you. But I can. I'm here for you. You and I can make a new home, together."

_Home_. It's a strange concept for both of them. Noatak has not had a real one since he left the North Pole—but even that place had only felt like home during his early childhood.

He does not want to be like his father. He will not push her into a destiny she does not want. She will not be his soldier of revenge, or of his personal mission—unless, as he hopes, she chooses to become that.

Noatak reaches out again, and touches Korra's hair. She flinches, but she does not push him away. It's a start.

He unpacks some food from the storage compartment next to the locked one. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"I have to keep steering for a while, I don't want you saying you're hungry later. He spreads out packages of fruit and fish and a few cups of instant noodles. But Korra folds her arms, glaring and pouting at the same time, and says, "'m not eating 'til you bring me home."

Insisting that she will never go home might provoke another tantrum, so Noatak shrugs indifferently and says, "We'll see how your stomach feels about that." He doubts her resolve will be very strong. On the other hand, he would rather not have her pass out from hunger or thirst. "Do you want something to drink, at least?"

She considers this, then says flatly, "Water."

He pours it into a cup and hands it to her. Korra looks intently at the water, almost glaring at it, and he knows she is trying to bend again. He almost feels bad for her, but not quite. He feels satisfied when she drinks the cup's contents.

He eats his own brunch, drinks some energy-enhancing tea to keep himself awake for the rest of the journey, and then packs up the provisions. He pauses as he closes the compartment, and turns to look at her. "I need to ask you something important," he says.

"What?" Her voice is disinterested.

"Do you have a nickname?"

"No."

"Would you like a different name? You could choose one, or I could choose one for you."

She makes a face, then shakes her head. "I like Korra."

This could be a problem. People will be looking for a Water Tribe girl her age named Korra—not just in the weeks and months to come, but possibly for years. But perhaps he can think of a longer name for which Korra would be a plausible nickname.

He finds a child-sized life jacket on the shelf, and hands it to her. "As long as you're awake, you should put this on. We still have a long way to go over water. And no trying to look over the side."

She holds the life jacket uselessly—either she does not know what it is for, or she is not going to cooperate with anything he suggests. Noatak scowls and forces it over her head, even as she struggles and tries to hit his hands away. He is too strong for her. He tightens the jacket's straps, and forces her to sit again on the blankets. "No standing up, unless you want me to tie you down. Understand?" She looks angry and miserable, but she nods, the first sign of resignation. Then he returns to the front end of the boat, and checks the map and compass to make sure they are going in the correct direction, before restarting the engine and resuming the journey.

He keeps glancing back at her, but she does not stir, only tries to keep up the bad mood throughout the day. She periodically reasserts, in either a pleading moan or a demanding yelp, "I wanna go _home_."

"I think you'll like the place where we're going," he tells her after some time.

"Where is it?" Her voice is both curious and suspicious.

"It's a city—bigger than any in the Water Tribes."

"I don't like cities."

He does not know if this is true, or just another attempt to be contrary.

He hears her stomach growl around midday. "Are you sure you don't want some food?"

She does not answer. He decides to offer some again—he does not know much about children, but he doubts they can cope well with hunger. He leaves the package of fruit on the shelf, within her sight and reach, before returning to the wheel.

A short while later he hears the package being opened and the snapping and sucking of fruit being consumed. He wonders if this counts as their first compromise.

They stop at a port town, which amazes and confuses Korra. "This doesn't look like a city."

"This isn't where we're going to live. We're just here to buy fuel."

He jumps into the shallow water and pushes the motorboat onto the shore. He reaches out to lift Korra over, but she scuttles to the opposite side. "I'm not going."

"Don't make me drag you." What can convince her to come without fighting? "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

Her stubborn frown fades, as she becomes uncertain. Noatak smiles and holds out his arms. "Come on."

Reluctantly she crosses over and lets him pick her up and set her down. She gasps when her feet land on the warm sand. "What is this?"

"It's sand—tiny little rocks."

"Rocks? Rocks are earth!"

"That's right."

She stomps her bare feet against the sand, but the landscape does not change. Her shoulders slump in disappointment. She must not know how rare sandbending is, if she thought she could do it. "Why can't I bend?"

"Some people just can't."

"But I could! I know I did!"

"I'm sure it must have been a dream." He spots a fish seller at a booth, and points it out. "Do you want to try a seaweed wrap?"

She turns it down. Novelties distract her, but she still wants to hold out on her anger. At least she is not crying or frightened. He would rather put up with this sullenness.

Noatak is relieved to learn that the child can go the bathroom without assistance—potty training is not something he has the patience for. What is more difficult is steering Korra away from the other boatmen, who she tries to ask for passage to the South Pole. He scoops her up and brings her back to the boat before they can start to take her seriously. Fortunately, no one gives either of them suspicious looks. Perhaps word of the Avatar's disappearance has not spread far yet.

It is almost evening when they come in sight of the United Republic capital. "We're almost there," Noatak says over his shoulder. "If you look now, you can see the city."

She gets to her feet and sees the same things he does: the mountains, the buildings, the memorial, the island, the bridges. "Whoa."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He does not truly find it so, but he wants to make it seem appealing to her.

"Who's that?" She points to the giant green-gray statue guarding the bay.

Noatak hides his uneasiness behind a casual answer. "A man named Aang."

"What did he do?"

"Well, the statue is here because he helped build this city."

Korra tilts her head up to study Aang's green face as they pass below the statue. Noatak hopes, almost prays, that she cannot feel or know anything intuitively about the old Avatar.

He steers the boat to the docks, and pays the fee to leave it there. He was planning to sell it, but maybe it would be good to keep, in case they ever need to leave the city quickly. He stands on the dock and holds out his arms to help Korra over the side. "Come on."

Once again, she stands defiant, trying to stare him down. "Please … I know it's a big place, and all of this is a big change … but it can be a good one, if you want. You have to give it a chance. And give _me_ a chance."

Maybe this talk of change and acceptance is going over her head. Noatak makes a noise between a sigh and a scowl. "Look, kid, your options are either stay out here and sleep on the boat in the cold, or come see what the city is like. There's an apartment waiting for us. You'll _like_ it."

She folds her arms over the life jacket and sits down. "I'll stay here."

"I was joking. They won't let you sleep in a boat."

"Why not?"

"You could freeze, or someone could—" Can she even grasp the concept of stranger danger? How can he explain it when he is still a stranger to her? If anything she is being smart by not going along with what he says.

He has only one good reason for trying to negotiate with her: to avoid making a scene that others might notice and report.

He gets in the boat again, and she moves to avoid him, but he does not go toward her. He picks up the blankets and carries them as he steps back onto the pier. "I hope it's not too cold tonight. And there's no food left, so you'll have to find some. And I don't know where the nearest bathroom is. Well, I guess I won't see you again, so good bye, and good luck."

He starts to walk away, slowly, leisurely folding the blankets. He smiles, waiting, sure she will call out—

There is a sound like metal being kicked, and then a yelp, a wooden thud, and a splash.

Noatak pivots, biting back the girl's name, swears, and runs down the pier, dropping the blankets. Korra bobs up in the narrow space between the boat and the pier; she is conscious but choking on the water. The life jacket is so bulky she can barely move, but it keeps her on the surface while Noatak reaches down and pulls her up. He brings her to her knees so she can cough and spit out the water.

"What did you do that for?"

"I didn't mean to fall," she says crossly. "I was trying to climb over like you did."

"Were you going to follow me?"

"No. I just wanted to get off."

Did she expect to find her way around the city by herself? Noatak shakes his head, removes the life jacket—thank the spirits for safety measures, he will have to remember those from now on—and wraps the dry blanket around her before picking her up. She does not fight him.

Korra stares at the scenes that they pass—the streets, cars, trolleys, rickshaws, motorcycles, pedestrians, buildings, street lamps. She may have seen such things in the urban areas of the Southern Water Tribe, but she has never seen them in such overwhelming numbers. Everything seems brown or gray, dark or nondescript colors, except for some brighter signs and lights.

Rather than take the trolley, where people would be more likely to see and ask about the wet toddler, Noatak walks to the apartment building on foot, fighting his exhaustion. Another hour or two and he'll be able to rest.

He sets Korra down on the sidewalk in front of the building. "This is where we're going to live."

She steps back and gapes up at the building, which must be like a skyscraper to a small child. "This is our house?"

"Not exactly. Other people live here, but we'll have an apartment with a few rooms just for us."

Everything is ready when they check in with the porter. Noatak's close associate, who he hopes to make his lieutenant, prepared their paperwork and made the living arrangements. He finds the package with their keys and paperwork. He has decided to put the name _Anakorra_ on her papers, and tell people that Korra is her nickname.

Their apartment is only a little bigger than her old igloo. There is a kitchen area with a table and an icebox, a living area with a sofa and a radio, two small bedrooms, and a bathroom. Noatak has not lived here before, so there are no personal touches to be seen. It must seem barren to her.

"Want to see the roof? Anyone can go up there."

"Sure!"

Korra is quick on the stairs, especially for someone who has rarely, if ever, used stairs. They finally go through the door onto the roof. Noatak watches as Korra runs around the roof, exploring every corner. The roof's perimeter is surrounded by a low wall; he lifts her up so she can look over it.

Korra gasps at the view. "We're so high!"

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. It's cool."

They eat the last of his packed food on the roof. Tomorrow they will go shopping for proper groceries, and new clothes for her. For tonight, he is eager to put her to bed, so he can finally catch up on sleep after nearly thirty-six hours awake. He is sure they both need baths, but he decides to put them off until tomorrow.

He makes Korra go to the bathroom before she climbs into her bed. She asks that the shades be left open, so she can see the moon and stars.

"Is there anything else you need? Water? Another blanket?"

She considers him. "Can you sing to me?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Will you go to sleep if I do?"

"Yes."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

He sits on the edge of the bed. "Very well. What … songs do you like?"

"Mama sings 'Leaves from the Vine.'"

The title stirs something in his memory; he thinks he remembers it, an old victory song from the time of the Hundred Year War. "I don't remember the words."

"_Leaves from the vine, falling so slow …_"

The words come back as she says them, and he tries to sing along, but she smacks his hand and scolds, "No, _I'll_ sing it, then you!" Feisty, demanding child. He waits, and when she has finished she looks at him expectantly.

"Can't you sing yourself to sleep?"

"You do it!"

Noatak obliges, and does not think his voice is well suited for singing, but Korra closes her eyes and relaxes into her pillow. When he comes to the end, she says without opening her eyes, "Again." He stretches out the tempo, and by the end of the third encore she is asleep, or close to it.

He thinks he knows what is supposed to come next—though, truthfully, he cannot remember the last time he gave or received a kiss. It must have been to or from his mother, before he left home.

He leans over and presses his lips to her cheek for a second, maybe two, before pulling away. It is supposed to be a sign of love and affection. He does not feel that for her, but in order for this living arrangement to work, he knows he will have to at least act as though he does; then, perhaps, one day he will.

The last thing Noatak does before retiring is set up the phone and call one of his associates, who will in turn contact a few others. He tells them where to find the boat, and instructs them to destroy the contents of the storage compartment. Not throw away, not bury or dump in the ocean, but destroy. For example, burning the robes, pictures, toys, and other items would suffice nicely.


	3. Falling So Slow

_Published February 17, 2015_

"Falling So Slow"

The family is the test of freedom, because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself. ~ G.K. Chesterton

Living with a companion—particularly one he has to care for—changes Noatak's outlook on day-to-day life. Traveling alone, he usually ate whenever he was hungry, and slept at night or whenever he found a comfortable respite. With Korra, he feels he ought to establish mealtimes and bedtimes. Since she cannot judge how much food and sleep is enough, he makes the effort to make sure she gets enough.

He has to ask her how much she is able to do. He asks her often, "Can you do this, or do you need my help?" Sometimes, to his annoyance, she says she can do something independently, only to retract her words and beg him for assistance.

Stepping outside the apartment is exciting; stepping outside their building is an adventure. He has to take Korra with him to buy groceries and, on the first day, clothes. Everything about the city amazes her. Of course, she is not only young, she has never left the south pole until now. Seeing her marvel at ordinary plants in the park reminds Noatak of his first years away from the home of his childhood. It is good for both of them that she is, so far, enchanted by the city. But it will not take long for her to learn that it has its dark side.

He gets to know her through their shopping trips. He grins when she tells him that she prefers pants to dresses. She is not particularly feminine, at least at this age. She also prefers blue and purple items, but he purchases some neutral tones that will let her blend in without hinting at her nationality. She is unfamiliar with most of the food, and asks him to identify everything.

He buys her a doll, a simple handcrafted item, to be a comfort object as well as a toy. He thinks they are supposed to help children think about what parenting is like. But Korra does not treat the doll like a baby; she talks to it as if it were an equal.

He shows her the public library, and lets her peruse the children's section once a week. She pulls out books that have nice pictures, and unfortunately many of these are about characters finding creative uses for bending. He tries to steer her toward alternatives that depict nonbenders. They borrow enough books to have him read a story every night.

He tries to show her how to do chores with him. They hang their laundry on clotheslines set up on the roof. He still wants to keep a low profile, so he tries to time that chore so that they do not run into their neighbors from other apartments in the building.

He keeps a close watch on the newspaper articles, and listens to the news hour every morning and evening. The kidnapping is only one story among about a dozen, and he does not know whether the average news consumer is taking the news to heart. After all, many people in the Water Tribes have claimed that they found the new Avatar. Korra was only one of many claimants.

Korra loves going on outings, but keeping her entertained _inside_ the apartment requires some thinking. She climbs on their few furniture items, wants to run up and down the stairwell. He shows her the radio, and she enjoys the jazz music that is so popular, but she is rarely content to sit still and listen. Instead she tries to dance to the swinging tempo.

Seeing how energetic she is, Noatak challenges her to exercise. "Do ten jumping jacks. Hm, I bet you can't do five more!"

She is glad to prove him wrong. But she also wants him to join in the fun. She runs around the main room calling, "Can't catch me!"

Of course he can catch her, he is bigger and faster, but he lets her run anyway. She turns the corner into the hallway, but then looks back at him expectantly. "Come on, chase me!"

"But you said I couldn't catch you."

"You still have to chase me!"

"All right … you asked for it!"

She squeals as he starts after her, barely speedwalking. He lets her duck around furniture, and humors her by crawling under the table to follow her. Finally, he catches her and holds her fast, laughing in triumph. He lifts her up with enough momentum to throw her into the air, but he holds on to her, not letting go. It is the first time he has heard her laugh. That has to be a good sign—perhaps she is finally moving on.

Noatak did everything he could to make the transition smooth and free of trauma: he made sure she slept through the actual separation. Yet there is still something discontent in her—he cannot identify it.

She does not sleep soundly. She cries out from nightmares almost every night. Noatak wonders if he is part of those nightmares—does she see her as the one who brought about such sudden change, or the one who saved her from it?

If he is still awake and she cries out repeatedly, he tries to wait it out; but then she wakes up and shouts for him—or, at any rate, for her father. "Daddy!" He goes to her and tries to soothe her. She lets him hug her, now, and tries to bury her face in his shirt or the crook of his neck. He tries to get her to talk about her nightmares, but she either cannot remember or does not want to discuss them.

He thinks he can make out the words "want Mom and Dad."

He rubs her back, and sifts his fingers through her hair.

"I know. They chose me to take care of you, so you wouldn't be alone."

Many nights pass before Korra seems to truly accept his answer. "They're not coming?" she murmurs, just to clarify

"No. But _I'm_ here for you, Korra. You may not see me as a father, but I'll act as if I were."

She pulls her head back to look him in the eye. "Are you gonna leave me with someone else?"

"No. I promise I won't leave you." To prove his point, he stays with her until she is asleep.

She sometimes falls asleep on him while he is reading to her. He lies for some time afterwards, feeling her breathe on top of him.

He likes this, but he does not yet know if he likes her. He does not know how he feels about her. He is not sure if it is attachment. He does not know if it is love. But he does know that he likes not being alone anymore. He was always good at looking out for people. It is nice to have someone to look out for, on a personal level.

This child is all his, and he starts to like that fact.

* * *

><p>There are bad days, such as when Korra throws tantrums. They argue and negotiate about what she eats, how long she can play, how long she should study, how late she can stay up (like him she is most energetic at night). She has a fiery temper, and if he did not block her chi each day, she would probably burst the water pipes, break the cement walls, and cover the apartment with scorch marks.<p>

Noatak wonders if all children are this self-centered, or if it is a result of her parents' coddling their bender child. She is not inclined toward discipline.

When she gets sick, and vomits on her clothes and bedsheets, he has to hide his disgust, clean up her mess, and try to nurse her back to health. When he catches it too, he doubts he can take care of the both of them. At times like that, he resents having to tend to her. Sometimes it feels like his entire day consists of setting things up for Korra and cleaning up after her.

Money starts to be a problem for the first time in his life. In the Water Tribe, they made most of their own goods, and traded for what they could not make. As a traveler, he was always able to do odd jobs to earn money. In uninhabited areas he knew how to hunt or gather food. Here, with Korra, he needs even more money for food, clothes, and rent, but he does not trust anyone else to take care of Korra so he can work.

School seems like a natural solution to keep Korra occupied and allow Noatak time to focus on his work. But the two of them have not separated since they started living together, and he does not know how she would cope with him leaving her alone among strangers. He also fears that someday she will lose her temper and display her bending, perhaps two or three types at once. He has to minimize the chances of anyone discovering her identity. To do that, he has to minimize the amount of time she spends with other people. Homeschooling seems most conducive to that aim.

So he tries to find jobs that will allow him to have bring daughter with him. He is more than qualified to teach martial arts, and that would be a good way to recruit Equalists, but he does not want to run the risk of having someone from a class recognize him as Amon.

Noatak finds the solution at the library. Korra is content to play and look at picture-books in the children's room. He keeps an eye on her while he re-shelves books and scrolls. After his shift is done, they go home and do lessons.

He finds her attitude toward her education contradictory and disconcerting: Korra loves learning, and wants to excel, but she is so full of energy she dislikes sitting at a desk and following a lesson.

Noatak remembers learning from his father, and how he defended his brother's slow progress. He wants to be patient for her sake, but he makes it clear he will not tolerate a lack of effort.

"Why do I have to learn this stuff?" she grumbles, rolling a bamboo brush on their kitchen table. She would rather doodle freely with pencils than make complicated designs with ink.

One reason is so that if their home is ever investigated, the police or whatever officials come will know he has done his job in getting her an education. But instead Noatak gives another. "So you can explore more easily."

She gives him a skeptical look.

"Just think, Korra: if you know how to read, you can read all the signs on the streets, symbols on the streetcar map, books in the library. You wouldn't need me to read to you."

"I like it when _you_ read."

"I'm honored," he says with a smile, "but you can't depend on me to read every word you see."

It takes a few years, but she does learn to read, both calligraphy characters and the newfangled phonetic alphabet. Sometimes he even enjoys teaching her. The way she grips a brush and visibly concentrates on getting the strokes right is endearing to watch.

Noatak shows her news articles, but warns her not to fully trust the media, since even nonbender reporters can be paid off to write biased stories. He tells her about the Beifongs who hoard valuable natural resources in Zaofu, a city so remote and fantastical it is nearly legendary. They champion metalbenders and leave nonbenders in the dust. He tells her about how the most violent Avatar, Kyoshi, established the Dai Li to keep the peasantry in line. Though the Earth Kingdom monarchs have been nonbenders for generations, they have always used this earthbender force to censor, oppress, and terrify the people of Ba Sing Se. He teaches her everything he has learned about the wars of the world, and the conclusion he came to long ago: all suffering ultimately stems from bending.

When she is seven, she notices the headline, _AIRBENDER GIRL BORN_. It is then that he explains the genocide. At the library he shows her books about the Air Nomad culture. Half of the information comes from Avatar Aang himself, the other half from professional historians, anthropologists, and scholars. He explains, in no uncertain terms, how the Fire Nation killed the men, women, and children of the Air Nation. He does not gloss over the unpleasant details; she has to understand the world they live in if they are to have any chance of fixing it.

Korra is close to tears as she asks, "Why did they do that?"

He does not tell her the real reason, _To find the Avatar_. Instead he tells her part of the truth: "The Fire Lords wanted to do the same thing to the other nations. They almost wiped out the Southern Water Tribe. The war ended on the day Fire Lord Ozai tried to burn the entire Earth Kingdom."

"How did it end?"

Noatak deliberates for a moment, creasing and smoothing out a corner of the newspaper between his fingers. "You know that big statue in the bay? That's the man who ended the war."

"What's his name again?"

"Aang. He was the only airbender who survived the genocide. He is the grandfather of the new airbender." He refolds the newspaper, clicking his tongue. "That child will grow up spoiled, just like her father."

"Wha'd'you mean?"

"The airbenders think they're special because they have a famous ancestor and rare abilities. Their bending is nothing to be proud of."

"I think it's kind of cool," Korra says. "They could use gliders to fly."

"They could also suffocate people, if they had the stomach for it. It's a good thing few of them did."

She cannot tell if he is joking or not. "What if _I_ was a bender?"

He has to steel himself against uneasiness. Is this still her child's imagination at work, or does she suspect—can she even remember, after three years? "You're not, so it's a moot question." Before she can ask, he defines, "That means there's no point in asking it."

"Would you hate me?"

That question startles him. "No, Korra. I wouldn't hate you."

"You'd still love me?"

He hesitates, because neither of them have mentioned love before, but he says, "Yes."

Moot or otherwise, he hopes his answer is true.

* * *

><p>They are both secluded, by necessity, but he does not keep her sheltered. Far from it: he wants and needs her to know what kind of world they live in.<p>

He takes her with him to do volunteer work at the hospital and several food pantries. Sometimes, when they serve food, they take time to sit with the regulars and talk to them. Noatak asks them about their pasts, how they ended up where they are now. He does not shield Korra from the unpleasant details of the violence and damage benders inflict, often resulting in people coming to the hospital. Sometimes they arrive too late—the triads like to bribe police and even paramedics to ignore calls for help. And most of the people who have trouble paying their medical bills are nonbenders with lower incomes.

He also enrolls her in self-defense classes, where she can interact with other children and make a few friends her own age. He stays to watch the first lesson, so she does not feel abandoned, but she becomes so involved with the forms and her classmates that she seems to forget about him. After that, he starts leaving her there, and her absence gives him a few hours to himself each week. And, by a great stroke of luck—or perhaps destiny—one of the children in the class is the daughter of the recently widowed Hiroshi Sato.

Korra is not shy; in fact he has to admonish her to be polite and not too forward. Ironically, the classmate who shows her the most kindness is the most polite one, Asami Sato. Korra reports that the sifu usually assigns them as partners because they are are evenly matched at the top of class.

After a few weeks, Noatak arrives to walk Korra home and is cornered by both of the girls. "Dad, can I play at Asami's house?"

The little heiress is usually chauffeured by a servant rather than her father. "Tell your father I'd like to meet him before Korra visits."

Hiroshi himself comes to the next lesson, and the two single fathers talk while their daughters and other children work in the studio. For the first time, Noatak has someone with whom he can compare his parenting methods. He admits that Korra is adopted—there is no shame in that, as adoptions are becoming more and more common. He acts sympathetic when Hiroshi seems close to despair regarding Asami's safety. Then he slips Hiroshi a card with the time and location of the next Equalist meeting. It takes place during the girls' next class. "If you want to do more to keep her safe, this group would be glad to help."

Hiroshi is the first person to see him as both Noatak and Amon. He tries to alter his voice slightly when he speaks as Amon; the other regulars do not seem to notice. Hiroshi pays rapt attention to the discourse, and willingly shares his experience, and offers whatever financial or technological resources will be necessary for their work.

* * *

><p>The first time Korra comes home from the Sato estate, her hair is divided into three braids rather than three ponytails. "Asami showed me how to braid her hair, and I'm going to grow my hair out so I can do more stuff with it."<p>

The braids are still in her hair when she comes to his bed after midnight. She makes the customary excuse about a nightmare, but he sometimes wonders if she is really having them or just wants to be with him. He hopes it is the latter.

In the morning, he rises before her, blocks her chi, and goes to the bathroom. When he looks up in the mirror, he is startled to see five tiny braids sticking out from the rest of his hair.

His voice booms through the door: "Korra?" He hears her giggling, and he laughs too, because he looks absurd. "Alright, that's funny, but don't do it again, okay?"

"Let me see!"

He opens the door, and stands for about a second before turning back to the mirror and undoing her mischief. "You need to brush your hair, too. It looks like a spider-rat's nest."

"Can you braid it?"

"Can't you braid your own hair?"

"It looks better when someone else does it."

He pauses. "My mother used to put her hair in braids that made loops on each side of her face … do you want me to do it for you?"

He wondered at the way she lights up at this suggestions. She brushes her hair rapidly and then hoists herself up to sit on the sink counter. Korra kicks her legs forward and swings them back to bang on the lower cabinet while he attempts to make the two braids. "Stop that," he says. She is so strong she could damage the wood.

She stops, and then asks, "What was Grandma like?"

Hearing her use the honorific label makes him want to laugh again, but his throat tightens as though fighting pain.

"She was very kind. She …" He hardly ever thinks about her, but now he tries to remember, groping for details Korra will be able to understand. He does not know anything about the complexity of her personality; by the time he was old enough to critique it, he felt alienated from her by secrets. "She made excellent food. She showed us how to make clothes from the pelts of animals we caught. We didn't have books, so she told us stories instead."

She would have loved to be a grandmother. Korra may not be a blood relative, but she would love her … even as the idea occurs to him, he knows that returning and finding her is not an option. He does not even know if she is alive.

He sets Korra back on the floor, and then hugs her, longer and tighter than usual. "I love you, Korra." He does not say this often, and the rarity makes it all the more poignant.

She squeezes back. "I love you, too, Dad."

He pulls back to kiss her cheek, but she holds up her hands. "No!" He is startled, and wonders if he has done something wrong, but she merely says, "Your face hurts in the morning!"

"My—" Of course. He hasn't shaved yet.

* * *

><p>On one playdate, Asami teaches Korra how to play Pai Sho, and Korra in turn asks Noatak if they can buy a board. He holds out until her birthday, and before he presents it to her, he spends hours studying the rulebook so that he will be able to play without her having to teach him.<p>

As it turns out, the way the Satos play the game is one of many different versions listed in the rulebook. So Korra ends up questioning his moves and pointing out alternatives. She is a bright child, and he does not just think that because she is his pupil.

He only wishes she required less of his time. The hours she spends at her class or the Sato mansion are precious to him, because he can meet with associates and potential allies in person. He even arranges for Korra to spend nights with the Satos so he can conduct meetings and give speeches to small assemblies. The rest of the time, he operates through phone calls and telegrams, and does paperwork at home.

There are many days when he has to deflect Korra's attention and boundless energy toward books or the radio, with the insistence that he has to do his own work in his room. When she is in a curious or impudent mood (which is often) she asks, "What are you working on?"

He gives a vague answer, like "Writing letters" or "Drawing".

But after touring the factory that Hiroshi Sato built, Korra addresses him, both casual and blunt. "Asami's dad is an inventor. What's your job, Dad?"

It is the first time she has asked him in so many words. "It's hard to explain," he says carefully. "It's all related to helping nonbenders in need." He feels this is telling the truth.

"You really like helping people, huh?"

"Yes, I do." There is a lot more to it, but at least she grasps that foundation of his ideology. "Don't you like it?"

She merely shrugs, as indifferent and self-centered as any nine-year-old.

* * *

><p>An unusual encounter at the food pantry cements her own conviction in helping others. It could be called a double encounter, as there are two patrons.<p>

Korra notices them because they are children, about her age, and they come in by themselves, not with a parent or social worker. One of them wears a red scarf, which she finds strange in such warm weather, but maybe they're homeless and don't have a place to keep extra clothes. Korra doesn't have much anyway, but Noatak always buys her different clothes for summer and winter weather.

"I'm going to bring them seconds," Korra says, and hurries off before Noatak can question her. She gets a plate of pork buns and comes to the side of the boys' table, holding it out as an offering. "Want some more?"

Their eyes light up with green delight and amber surprise. "You bet!" the shorter, green-eyed one says.

Korra puts the plate down in front of them; then, without asking, she sits on the other side of the table, facing the two of them. "So, what's your story?"

"Huh?" The sound comes from the taller boy, the one with amber eyes and a red scarf.

"Um … why do you come here? Did something happen?"

The boys exchange glances as they chew and swallow their food. They don't say anything to each other, but they must communicate something she cannot understand because the elder boy says, "We lost our parents."

"Oh. I'm sorry." She thinks of Asami, whose mother was killed by a firebender just a few years ago. That makes her wonder. "Was it an accident? Or did someone do something to them?"

The elder boy looks miffed at her forwardness. But the younger boy merely hesitates before admitting, "It was a firebender. We've been on our own ever since."

"Where do you live?"

"None of your business," the taller boy says, standing up. "Come on, Bo." They stuff their pockets with the uneaten bread and dumplings.

Bo looks over his shoulder at Korra as they leave. "Thanks for the food!"

"You're welcome! Good luck!" she shouts after them. She is not sure what she wishes them luck in doing—surviving? Finding better lives? She feels more somber than sad. She is used to seeing poverty and hearing about misfortune, so it doesn't shock her, but seeing children suffer that way is disheartening. At least adults can work to earn money to feed themselves. What can kids do to take care of themselves?

Noatak watches the interaction from the longer table where he is serving food. When she carries the plates back to the kitchen he asks her, casually but gently, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you feel bad for them?"

Her first response was automatic; now it is heavy with honesty. "Yeah."

"It amazes me to think … you could have been like that." He shakes his head, continuing to wash, but Korra stares at him. She has always known that she was adopted, but she has never considered what her life would be like if Noatak had not adopted her. He has told her it was a closed adoption, so he knows nothing about her biological parents, and there is no way to contact them.

Korra is not sure what she hopes more, that they wanted her but died, or gave her up but are still alive. She tries not to care either way.

* * *

><p>Korra's science education includes growing flowers and vegetables on the rooftop, cooking meals, touring the Future Industries facilities, and—her favorite—nature trips.<p>

Noatak takes her fishing in the bay, and sometimes they explore the coasts outside the city. They bring Asami on one trip, but she is more interested in examining the mechanics of the motorboat and fishing rods than in actually fishing or observing nature. Korra is also too impatient to wait for fish to bite, but she enjoys and is good at navigating.

They go on camping trips into the mountains, every three or four years. He teaches her the survival skills nonbenders must use, techniques he had to learn during his years of traveling alone.

"Is it like this in the Water Tribes?" she asks, surveying the snowy terrain. Even in the spring, the mountains are covered with snow. It still reminds Korra of her old life, before she came to Republic City, though the specific memories are dimmer now.

"Somewhat," he says noncommittally.

"Did Grandpa ever take you camping?"

"Not for fun, like you and I do. He took my brother and me on hunting trips."

"Can we hunt?"

"No. It's too much of a hassle to get permission to hunt in places like this, where it isn't necessary for survival." They eat the food they packed, but they do make a nice fire. Korra asks if he can tell a scary story, but he lies and says he knows none. Of course he has stories that would frighten her, but he cannot tell her without revealing his past.

Her favorite type of field trip, one saved for special occasions because it actually costs money, is visiting the zoo. Noatak tells her what he can remember about arctic animals. They stay in that section for hours. Noatak wonders if she remembers the antarctic, the constant snow and ice of the tundra.

But there is no way she could have seen a polar-bear dog, which is the animal that fascinates and amuses her the most. The plaque reports that it is a female, Naga, apparently the same age as Korra, or at least at the same proportional stage of life, midway through maturity.

A glass wall separates them from the beast's arctic habitat. Korra presses her hand against the glass barrier, watching as Naga meanders around the pool.

On the walk home Noatak asks her, "Would you like a pet? Something you could take care of?" He does not like the idea of anything big that might make messes or cause trouble, but something small might be good for Korra.

But she shakes her head. "I don't think a polar-bear dog would fit in the apartment."

"You really like them that much?"

"Just that one. Naga. I can't explain it, but I feel like she's the same as me, somehow."

He wonders what she means. Is she lonely? Does she feel trapped, like a wild animal kept in a cage? Or different, like someone taken out of their environment, and forced to adapt to a new one? He tells himself he is probably thinking too much of it.

As Korra gets older, Noatak entrusts her with assignments to complete on her own, sometimes enough for several days at a time, while he meets, trains, and plans with his Equalists. They are growing in numbers, and his presence is needed more as the movement slowly gains momentum. He feels confident leaving Korra alone in the apartment. She can cook her own meals and take care of herself for the most part.

He always comes in and checks on her when he comes home. If she has fallen asleep by then, he kisses her cheek before retiring himself. If she is still awake, they debrief on what she did while he was gone. She also asks about his days, and he tries to tell her some truth—"I spoke at a meeting, and I did better than I expected, so I'm hopeful that it will bring results."

At his suggestion, she starts keeping a journal of current events. The airbending master and his wife have two more children, after intervals of about three years between each. A new representative for the Northern Water Tribe is appointed to the Council. When she notices him staring at the picture, he merely comments that it seems strange to have someone so young in government. The other Council members are middle-aged or elderly, while Tarrlok is in his late thirties or early forties.

"I guess we'll see how he does," he says finally, folding up the newspaper.

* * *

><p>She is almost thirteen when he notices her shape changing, the same way he always notices when she is starting to outgrow a garment. He cannot imagine offering to take her shopping for some kind of chest support or whatever they use in this city. He thinks his mother just wrapped herself in sarashi, but the memory is so dim—probably from his infancy, if it is even accurate—that he cannot be sure.<p>

Noatak decides to be discreet and buy her an array of devices of varying size, and leaves the bag on her bed for her to find in the evening.

The next day, she does not mention anything, but her shape is a little less pronounced. Noatak feels relieved to have avoided such awkwardness.

Korra has her thirteenth birthday a few months later. They call it her birthday, though it is really the anniversary of her adoption. Some years, on this day, Noatak recounts to her their first few months together. He admits to being nervous during that time, and that admission heightens her awareness that, even now, he does not always know what he is doing. Her memory of the transition is dim, so she believes what he says about choosing her, and how the matter of choice was what made their family special.

She does not have enough friends for a real birthday party, but Noatak lets her invite Asami to spend the night with them. It is the first time a stranger has been in their apartment. If Korra feels at all embarrassed about their humble abode, she does not show it. The spacious rooftop and its panoramic view of the city partly makes up for the apartment's smallness.

The girls practice sparring, like old times, just for fun. Then Noatak shows the girls how to make Water Tribe-style accessories, so they spend the evening making vambraces, armbands, and necklaces. Korra and Asami braid rope bracelets for each other. "The girls at my school give each other friendship bracelets," Asami explains. "But I like this style better," she adds, to be polite to Noatak.

After dinner, they give Korra her birthday gifts. Noatak gives her a necklace, even though she has never been very interested in jewelry. He braided the choker himself, but he bought the pendant at a jewelry store, making the gift a combination of craftsmanship and commerce. The traditional characters for "daughter," 女兒, are carved into the blue pendant. The necklace makes Korra think of an animal collar. It does not give her a name, but a label for the only defining relationship in her life.

Asami's gift is a package containing an assortment of sports magazines. Korra is pleased and even a little excited, but she becomes confused when she sees one about pro-bending—and then another—more than half of the dozen-odd magazines are about pro-bending! Asami explains her assumption that since Korra is such a good athlete, she must be able to appreciate the sport.

In Korra's bedroom, out of Noatak's sight, they look at the magazines together. Korra knows nothing about the sport, and is surprised by Asami's enthusiasm for it, but she looks through the pages with a strange mixture of wonder, repulsion, and curiosity.

Eventually Noatak makes them turn out the lights, but they do not bother trying to sleep. Instead they talk about Asami's private school and the people she knows there. Most of them are boarders, but Asami lives at home because her father wants her close. They compare their fathers, and share what they remember of their mothers.

"You're lucky you got so much time with your mom," Korra says, wistful but not unkind.

"I know … but that also makes it harder, now that she's gone. Do you miss your parents?"

"I don't think _miss_ is the right word. I don't remember them well enough to miss them."

They move on to more optimistic topics. They talk about getting jobs at Future Industries, or starting their own dojo, or circumventing the globe.

In the morning, the moment Asami goes out the door, Noatak throws the magazines into the garbage bin. "I don't know what Hiroshi thinks he is doing by letting her follow this sport," he mutters, tearing a bound issue in half as Korra watches from the kitchen table. "It's barbaric, watching benders hurt each other, worshiping the winners like heroes, building an entire economic industry around them. It all comes down to greed, for power, fame, and wealth."

Korra remembers those words more clearly than anything Asami told her about the sport.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes<p>

Disclaimer: it was pulpofiction who first used the idea of Korra seeing Naga in a zoo.

Artwork: "Here" by Emorephic on DeviantArt

Music: I chose song lyrics for first two chapter titles because I think they referred quite well to what happens in each chapter. Noatak taking Korra from her family was like plucking "leaves from [a] vine," and over the years he falls for Korra. There is another song that I imagine would be in a soundtrack for this story: "Suddenly" from the 2012 film version of _Les Misérables._ (The composers wrote the song just for the movie, to show the bond Jean Valjean and Cosette form after he adopts her. The stage musical skips over that part.) Also, the song "No One Is Alone" from _Into the Woods_ seems to apply to Noatak comforting Korra, and will later parallel other situations in this story.

This chapter was tricky to write because, unlike the others in this story, it covers a long period of time. It is difficult to realistically depict the highs and lows of a parent-child dynamic over the course of a decade, and it was even harder to figure out the specific circumstances these characters would live in. I wasn't sure how or when to end this chapter, so I may repost this later on, but for now I want to share what I have before my Lent deadline.

I will be taking a break from fan fiction and DeviantArt for Lent, which begins tomorrow, February 18, and ends on April 2. I plan to post an Easter-related LOK fanfic at the end of this period. But, I will still check my E-mail to answer reviews, at least for a few days. I'd like to thank the people who reviewed the first chapter; they did so as guests, so I can only hope they are reading this. I appreciate your feedback!

I still have not decided how to organize my "Finding What You Weren't Looking For" installments; so far feedback has been fifty-fifty, in both reviews and my poll. Please let me know what you think!


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